last night, dear.

last night you haunted me.
although still with me-
quite alive-
i felled you like a torrent,
like a raindrop, like a flood.
the room was quite empty-
black and lonely,
as though every watching angel
had hastily deserted me
in my ill fate.
drops of water swelled
and frosted the edge of my lashes
i shivered.
alarming thoughts
pounding in my skull
like pegs into dry wood.
i cannot feel, i think,
and i come up empty--
as though a handsome stranger
presented me a blank sheet of paper.
drops of sweat beaded
on my neck
like startled bees,
stinging me with salt.
i raised my head and murmured:
god! i don't love him.
there! i said it.
my eyes scored the room warily.
i don't, i don't, i don't.
it crept accross my weary brain
like a drug, like a moss.
and i laid my head on my pillow-
quite unarmed-
my eyes fluttering shut in sleep.