renegade

some god has grabbed me by the hair and
toppled from the sky.

(the
madness,
impenetrable vinegar to love,
all this dements)

my lungs harden whole and light up
like the Cosmos:
from some wrinkle in the universe i hear
love rear its leaden hooves,

hear old words sparking bright and fraudulent
like fresh flourescent lighting on which blind bugs
lurch and smack.

(i am, and i am not;
from time to time i exist and then i do not exist)

silence pins me limb-for-limb
to the vacancy:
look up and you will see feet
dangling from your blankness,
like animal entrails.

you strengthen to a sour note
and ferment:
i crackle in your white volts
like a prophet.

(even i cannot demolish me, no
nor can you. too strong i've grown
in all your manna and your milk)

an old hymn flattens like
an old balloon.
i scratch i sing i tap
my new tattoo.

the petty gods flay justice into hide;
i sugar over in a crust of blood.

and me, i exist.
i am.